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Marky - Boy

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I guess... [Nov. 5th, 2012|08:39 pm]
Marky - Boy
[Current Location |United States, New York, Getzville]
[mood |blahblah]
[music |Strange Currencies - REM]

Hey Folks,

I know nobody reads this anymore. Live Journal is pretty much a dead media but I needed to clear my head and vent so I have decided to start writing again. The last 12 months have taken me places I never thought imaginable. No longer am I confined to my own prison I can travel freely now since I obtained my license. Yeah I am not totally confident yet but I will continue to baby step it and be fine as time rolls on. I am also part of an awesome project I am extremely proud to be in and still have a full head of hair so I guess my 31st year has been pretty solid. However I still feel like there is sooo much more I can do and accomplish yet don't know how to go about it. I know I need adventure, I need to run and I need to explore. It bothers me a bit that some do not feel that way. I guess over the last year I have had a few people give up on me too but but I need to remember that is their loss not mine. I know I am meant to make a dent in this great big beautiful world just wondering when that becomes clear.

Marky
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That's when the hornet stung me. [Apr. 2nd, 2009|11:53 pm]
Marky - Boy
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |Ahead by a Century - The Tragically hip.]

Thats right folks,

With revenge and doubt tonight we smoke them out. Am I chasing my demons? are they chasing me? does this all add up? or is 2+2=? my mind continues to fly at a pace which can not be understood. Tomorrow I get on a plane. We will see what happens after.


I'll see ya when I see ya.
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Every man has his muse and Mine could be the Bottle. [Apr. 2nd, 2009|12:52 am]
Marky - Boy
[mood |discontentdiscontent]
[music |The Death of Me - City and Colour]

Hey folks,

So another tough day at work. I sit and I wonder how I got where I am. I have been wondering what I could of done different. Have I been me this whole time? Have I been wandering about through this world in a life that isn't exactly mine? Tonight I get more weird news on my love life. I suppose it is alright I mean I no longer have to be a game, I no longer have to be the puppet on the strings of hands who won't ever take me seriously. Maybe it is time I break the mold of me. I could stop drinking I could move I could just fly away to what I want to be? but could I? Is it my fate? I want to find my fate I do. I know nobody really reads this now. I know my writing has become unconventional but truthfully something my life is very off. My mind is not right. I am not right. I no longer dream of hitting a big goal I don't want to I want to run through it! I know again that this makes no sense I know I have spoken so ma ny times of change but I truly feel I have finally lost the game. Now it is time for me to find round 2.

I'll see ya when I see ya.

Marky
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Madness Fills My heart and soul as if the great divide had swallowed me whole. [Mar. 31st, 2009|01:10 am]
Marky - Boy
[mood |awakeawake]
[music |Sleep sickness - City and Colour]

Hey folks,


So I don't know who reads this anymore or rather who even cares. I need to write though. I have been wondering about my life too much lately. The days are filled with endless non-sense of what if's and when will I'. I suppose things have gotten much better I have hit my stride at Ingram I actually enjoy going to work now. I have an opp to make a splash but I am still looking ahead to move something I want. I guess I am just in a spot where I realize I am 26 I have great friends a great family but am I happy? I guess you could say I am. I suppose this all started when she walked back in my life. My feet quickly went out from under me just like the first day we met. I was in it all over again sinking like batman in Riddler's quick sand cake. Then as it always ocurs my heart went ary and I lost out on her again. Did my heart ever stop being with her? was I ever out of love? I don't know but what I realize now is no matter what happened between us I know deep down no matter how strong that love is was or could be. We have cards to chase on both sides of the table. I am not nearly ready to cash my chips in at all. I need to stay in to play that big hand and and hit that pot running! As much it may kill me if she hits her pot before mine I will learn I have plenty of cards left to chase.

Now if this seems like a bizarre rant or rave I suppose it is I just emptied my head. I have been thinking this for a while. Is this my end of this journal or am I just starting again? either way I know I will be back in bed now.

whoever still reads

I'll see ya when I see ya.
Marky
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IT IS TIME TO GRAB FATE BY THE THROAT! [Nov. 18th, 2008|10:29 pm]
Marky - Boy
[Current Location |Fully Completely - The Tragically Hip]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]

Hey Folks,

I am writing for the first time in a very very long time. As we know I did not move to Portland, My life at Ingram has improved but not greatly. I am chasing cards I have always chased once again whether it be in career form, or my love life. I have decided to start writing again because I need to pour my heart out somewhere!

I have watched things I love in my life slide as always and I am extremely angry with my first love which we know is sadly the Bills. I declare here on LJ that they will turn it around and fire will rise into the souls of this city and that team! I also declare that anyone around me is about to burn inside my light as I will shine brighter than I ever have before!
BELIVE IT!

Marky
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So why ask me? [Jun. 30th, 2008|01:13 am]
Marky - Boy
Hey Folks,


I am not sure who reads this any longer. I am in a odd mood. My brain is telling me that things could change very very soon.
This week could be one that changes my life.

Marky
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IT's been a year now [Jun. 22nd, 2008|11:58 pm]
Marky - Boy
[mood |gloomygloomy]
[music |For Justin - For Justin]

Hey FOlks,


So another year passes and I am 26 I don't feel so great. I guess things just are dragging out I am dying to find out about my job and just doing nothing. I really just feel blank and felt the need to put something down at this moment.

Marky
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Gonna Rise up Throw my Ace in the hole [Apr. 13th, 2008|12:25 pm]
Marky - Boy
[music |Into the wild Soundtrack]

Hey Folks,


Once again I rise out of the ashes to come back strong and write in this little area about my life. It has been a very long time since I last posted and I suppose a lot has happend in that time also.

I am now not so miserable at my job. I actually enjoy going to work because I enjoy the people I work with besides the one piece of white trash I work with. I still hate the work and want to finish up my degree and get the hell out of there but I can deal with it right now and the money isn't bad either. I had a job interview with the Buffalo Bills to go back full time but it didn't work out and so that will remain the brass ring for my future. I actually have an interesting opp on the table with the AHL hockey team in Portland Maine. They flew me down for an interview and things went great It is a really cool little town and I loved what I saw out of the franshise and the community.

I think I have finally closed some old wounds with my love life and stuff too. I am just feeling really Optomistic and posetive about alot of things in life right now:-)


I hope you have all missed me

I missed you



Marky
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To Breath That Old Familiar Smell [Jan. 31st, 2008|07:36 pm]
Marky - Boy
[Tags|]
[mood |energeticenergetic]

Hey FOlks,




So 08 is goin alright still hate the job but debating life. Semester seems to be going well and I have started to get my act together shape wise. I don't know where the world is taking me but I am glad where things are.

I believe that the sabres will make the playoffs and am once again sporting the beard

Now I am off to super bowl numbers night!
BIG MONEY WHAT!?

Marky
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Another Year Over. [Dec. 25th, 2007|11:36 pm]
Marky - Boy
[music |Happy Christmas - John Lennon]

Hey Folks,

Hope you all had a joyful holiday. I just am updating since it has been a while. I have started going back to therapy and am enjoying it very much. I also am still trying to return to the Bills or another organization while biding my time at ingram. I also am gonna hop on the sobriety train starting January 2nd for a month to save some cash, drop some pounds and continue to get healthy

Mandy is gonna help me do a ten days clensing thing to start which should be cool.


To all a good night
Marky
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